He Speaks

My world is no longer one colour, one language, and one look. It is multi-hued, multi-tongued, and varied. The nations are at the door of my heart and they are knocking it down.

This past Wednesday, I joined my friends Insaf and Nour for their prayer group. It was not my first time and as usual I tried my awkward best to field the greetings and remember how many kisses are the norm in Iraqi culture. Even though I only understand a few words in Arabic, being there feels right and good. This group knows God and God knows them.

During prayer time, there was a profound sense that God was present, filling the room. One lady prayed for me, in English, she asked the Lord to expand my territory and since I had been responsible with a little, that He would give me more. As a chorus of 'amens' rose around the circle, my flesh balked and said 'no' while my spirit lept and said 'yes'. I have questioned my current role so often and wondered if I really have what it takes to manage people and programs. Although very good things, the added weight of working at Welcome Home plus the upcoming trip to Bolivia have combined to cause some stress. There's a verse in Ecclesiastes 10 that says, "If the ax is dull and its edge unsharpened, more strength is needed but skill will bring success." I feel like that ax; the right tool but slow and dull to do the job. I think I have the skills but not the strength to bring success.

Tonight, I visited a new Spanish church. It was suggested by a friend that I check it out. This friend used to be part of an old order Mennonite congregation. The church I went to was not your horse and buggy style meeting place. It was alive and throbbing with the Holy Spirit's fire. After an energetic time of singing, the worship leader called for a time of prophecy. The first recipient of a word was the new 'muchacha' standing in the middle of the sanctuary. I was like, "Yo?! Me?!" I approached the front and the glowing, young woman told me this in Spanish:

"You have been dry and searching. You have felt alone. You have not been able to sleep at nights. You have no idea but there is a heavy calling around you, a great work that the Lord wants you to do."

This stranger saw straight through me and spoke to my very soul. Never in my life have I had such a struggle sleeping as I have in the last two months. My journal is full of searching questions as I seek to understand what I need to do next and where I need to do it. I am alone. I am single and all I hear is the Lord whispering to me, "Though he linger, wait for him."

That girl didn't speak to me, God spoke to me. He speaks and I better sharpen my listening skills and polish up the spirit by which I will hear His voice to do His work with success, skill and by His strength. The nations are knocking and someone needs to open the door.