Getting to Know You

Who did you try to avoid this Christmas? Everybody has somebody who they would rather not see, rather not talk to, and rather not be close to. Sometimes, it's inevitable and you have to interact with the person that you would rather avoid. Hopefully, in those moments, you were able to show love and kindness and control the inner cringing that could turn mean or hurtful.

I think the person that you avoided the most this festive season was probably yourself. In fact, through-out the entire year and perhaps our whole lives, we avoid ourselves more than we avoid any other person.

The average person doesn't spend much time by his or her self. When time opens up for us to be alone, we quickly distract ourselves with TV, a book, cleaning, Facebook, baking, or anything else that will prevent us from facing the reality of our aloneness.

In solitude and quietness, the questions start to rise from within us: Who am I? What am I doing with my life? Where is God? Is there a God? What are my dreams? Do I really matter? Why do I feel so alone? In busyness and noise, these questions can be avoided and left undealt with. We stuff them into the closets of our souls where they become skeletons that rattle and unnerve us.

Our determination to occupy our space and fill our time make it very difficult to be silent and spend time getting to know ourselves. Henri Nouwen says that most people would find it near impossible to bear the silence of a monastery. In fact, he says the first months of being there are usually quite tortuous. No one needs you or wants your advice. The absence of music, books, TV, newspapers, iPhones, Internet, and other distractions stir up a restlessness that make people want to run away from the solitude that unveils how alone they really are.

Strip away the trappings of this world and confront your existence. Grapple with the unsettling questions that lurk within you and seek the answers with all your heart. Open the closet doors and turn those skeletons into strengths. Stop avoiding the void inside of you and know that the fullness of God can dwell within you. He can reshape your loneliness into fellowship and infuse your life with purpose and confidence.