Cheeky Monkey!

Before I share a story about a very cheeky monkey, here are three of my favourite pick-up lines from some rather cheeky taxi drivers:
1. "Are you married? Would you like to be married?" (In other words, "I want to get myself to Canada and you just may be the answer to my greencard dreams!"

2. A man hanging out of the final car in a funeral procession, "Hey sweety, want to come to a funeral with me?" (In other words, "This gringa probably doesn´t understand Spanish anyway, so why not make an idiot of myself?")

3. My personal favourite, after learning that I was on my way to Spanish classes, the driver leans over the seat and says, "You want to learn Spanish? I can teach you Spanish. Give me your mouth to kiss for but a moment and I will teach you the language of Latinos!" (In other words,...well, I just got out of the car quickly before he attempted any type of lesson).

The primate behaviour of a handful of cab drivers has amused me somewhat, but no so much as this story that mamita shared with me from her childhood.

Mamita grew up in the hot, swarmy region of Trinidad. She spent a lot of time with one of her aunts who was known for having parrots and monkeys. One of her parrots was a community legend. This tropical bird would sit on it´s perch and as people would pass he would say, "Stand to your feet for the Bolivian national anthem!" With tremendous gusto, this patriot would then break into the full version of the song, which has a least ten verses! (Interesting to note that the Spanish word for "anthem" is himno!)

Returning one day from who knows where, Mamita and her relatives discovered the patriotic parrot naked and shivering on the ground. Perhaps jealous of it´s star status, one of the monkeys had plucked every feather from the body of this oversized parakeet. The cheeky moneky sat in a nearby tree, feathers clinging to it´s furry self bearing a smug, self-satisfied grin on it´s face. The parrot? It died in disgrace, pink and plucked, never to sing the anthem ever again.