Facebook Confessions

Admittedly, I was slightly freaked out I saw fourty four messages from Facebook in my Yahoo account in only a few hours after signing up. The numbers continue to climb and I am amazed at how many people want to be my friend...or how many people are just nosey to find out what someone they used to know is up to these days. I had no idea this phenomenom was sweeping across the nations...how long have I been out of it anyway?

Apparently I am considered 'elderly' for a facebook user, but I'm down with that. My old Youth for Christ supervisor, who's opinion I respect a lot, quickly emailed me to say that he was not a facebook fan. I can certainly see why. The whole thing has an exhibitionist flavour. People everywhere hanging their stained and holey underwear out on the wireless clothesline for all to see (unless you've adjusted your privacy settings and from what I can tell, not many do). My other friend and old co-worker commented that it reflects the 'reality TV' mentality that reigns. We want to be the all seeing eye, to know what is happening in the small worlds of others so that our own world seems that much larger.

Despite it all, I find myself spinning into the vortex of pokes, walls, and gift giving. I like the wall writing, but the poking practice baffles me. Is a poke meant for the unsure? Those who want to be friends with someone but aren't sure about the other person? Instead of a real message, they send out a hesitant, virtual poke to test the waters? Or is it for those who don't have the time and simply want someone to know that they were thought for all of the two seconds that it took to click 'poke'? As far as paying one dollar to send a graphic gift to someone's page, forget it! Who falls for that gimmick? True to my Dutch heritage, I took my free one and sent Ruthie a pair of sunglasses...at least she can't lose them or break them.

I like Facebook because I've met plenty of old friends and reconnected with youth that I used to work with in Canada and abroad. It's been a hoot to joke around on each other's walls and see the pictures. For me, the albums are the main attraction. I love looking at the faces of old buddies, seeing the girlfriends, spouses, and children that I've never met. Several people look more gorgeous with the passing of time. I find it hard to believe that dozens of my old youth are married or getting married!

Speaking of old youth, there are plenty who are pursuing God and the good things above. I am encouraged by the amount of my old kids who are revved up for missions or whose relationship with Jesus takes first place in their lives. I've also been distraught and bothered by the amount of now-grown up teens who are living with their boyfriends/fiances, proclaimed agnostics, unsure about their faith, and clearly living a self-indulgent, hedonistic lifestyle. Some are only swimming in a shallow sea of doubts, but it seems that several have plunged into a murky, tormented ocean of sin...and seem oblivious to it! It breaks my heart, especially when a handful were those I considered leaders and pace setters for their generation...for this world!

Facebook, I confess that I love you and I hate you. You have brought me laughs and pain. I'll take you, because I can't leave you.

I See You

I see you. I see you when I close my eyes and I feel your presence in my heart. I see you on the ground, grabbing my hands, and lifting me up towards the ceiling by your feet. I feel your scratchy face as you kiss me goodbye before you head off to work. I see you loping along a trail and cocking your head when you hear a bird call, telling us all what it was. I feel your pinch as you try to quiet me in church. I see you sitting on the pew with your legs crossed, leaning forward, chin resting on the palm of one hand, and listening intently to the words of the pastor. I feel the buzz of a battery on my tongue as you assure me that it won't hurt a bit. I see you shovelling snow like a mad man and hunched over the hood of a car, tongue tickling your moustache, whether you have one or not. I see us paddling down the creek on Father's Day and I feel the rushing water as we tip out and watch the oars and the canoe float away from us. I feel the hug you gave me before I boarded the plane and I saw the two tears that trickled out of your eyes.



Tears spill from my eyes now and my heart twists in agony to think of your pain. I see you Dad, and Abba sees you too.