Lifespan

Bugs gross me out. Mass groupings of insects send waves of repulsion through my body. For this reason, my nose was more than a little itchy when I saw two strange creatures mating on the back tire of my bike. They were large and seemed too drastically different to be engaging in reproductive activity. The one on top was vividly green, vibrant, and winged while the one on the bottom was the colour of dirt, dreary, and wingless. I grabbed a near-by stick, half-closed my eyes, knocked the mounted pair of my wheel and pedalled off to the camp bathroom.



Shortly after, I searched for the two lovebugs so that I could show my Dad. My Dad is a walking Wikipedia and despite my aversion to insects, curiosity trumped my disgust. I wanted to know what class of gross I was dealing with. Dad readily handled the pair of bugs and quickly pronounced them not two but one...one bug, a cicada. Cicadas emerge from their own bodies as a completely new creature. There is no spinning of a cocoon. It's not even a shedding of skin as a snake would do. Their actual body cracks open and they crawl out with a brand new one.


I know cicada bugs. Cicadas were my constant companion during the dozen years that I worked at a tree nursery. They are those irritating singers in the tops of trees who trill loudly when it's hot...as if we needed reminding. However, last week was the first time that I heard the story of the cicada bug. Dad told me that a cicada lives 11 years underground, tunnels above ground, mates, and dies. No wonder they're so obnoxious, I would be too if I lived such a brief life. The majority of their lifespan is spent beneath the earth. They burst forth from the dank dirt and are released from their drab, grub-like form as a fresh, green creature with the power of flight. That's exciting. That's incredible. All that fanfare happens just so they can mate and die.

With my eyebrow raised, I asked my Dad,"That's it? What's the point?" Both of us shrugged and shook our heads as Dad tried to give the bug a fighting chance on the trunk of a pinetree.

The point is that I am a new creature too. I am new. The old is gone. The span of my life is not long. I want to do more than just tick off a few people with a shrill song. Finding a mate is one of multiple longings stored in my heart, but not the most essential nor urgent. I lived 22 years in darkness. I will spend eternity in the light.

Bike with Me.

Bikes are the best. Pulling the pedal back with balls of my feet and hopping onto the seat sends me back in time. I drew out a bike from the caverns of the shed and made my way down the swerving drive. The house I grew up in passed on my left, but it isn't the home I remember. The present people have neglected the finer points, like cutting the grass and cleaning up garbage.

Once I hit the road, it was a straight line to Concession four. I opted for the least hilly terrain since it has been a few years and these knees have experienced little of such activity. A bug smacked my forehead and I closed my mouth to prevent potential consumption. The ride was surreal and nostalgic. All my senses told me that I was back home, but my desire to greet two old men on porches with "Buenas tardes!" reminded me that home was two places. So much was the same and so much was different. The masses of stables along the way boast of the success of the near-by racetracks and their accompanying slots. Old man Larry's place is boarded up with plywood and the drunk has probably passed out for his last time. The ditches are still hemmed with Queen Anne's lace and the fragrance of ragweed and honey thistles still sweeten the air. A bloated diaper expands on the gravel side, a common sight in Bolivia, but the seven Tim Horton coffee cups tell me where I really am.
I know where I am but, I don't know where I'm going. A bike ride can be a random diversion through country blocks without a real destination. The point is the ride. The idea isn't to get anywhere but only to absorb the passing beauty and enjoy the exertion of muscles long laid fallow.
I will absorb this blessed life, enjoy the surrounding beauty, and I will find my way home again.