Candy Fillings

In recent weeks, I have had this pervasive sense of being tied up in a strait jacket. A jacket created by my frustration of knowing that modes of behaviour should be changed and yet, not brave enough or capable enough to implement that change.

I refer to the blatant lack of financial resources to meet daily needs at the home. School began and there were no supplies for the girls. I took out $100 and handed it over so that there would be notebooks and pens. Month after month, the water bill brings despair and stress into the life of Loly, our director. My first impulse is to withdraw the money or send off emails looking for cash. Initially, this reaction was personally rewarding. To be able to pay a debt or buy necessities felt good. It does not feel good anymore. It feels wrong and pointless. The cavity is being filled with candy and instead of a remedy, we are aggravating the ache of poverty.

A friend from one of my home churches sent me a thought that he gleaned from a Hamilton conference on poverty. He wrote that our goal is not the elimination of poverty but, the stimulation and fostering of resiliency in the face of it. I read this and loved it. As Jesus himself told us, the poor will always be with us. Poverty is an inescapable reality. The question is am I coddling it and stimulating it's growth or am I acting in ways that are responsible and purposeful? Or, in acknowledging the staying power of poverty, do I justify my inaction and remain distant when I should be relocating myself to really be with the poor?

A lot of these inquietudes arose after reading Shane Claibourne's book, Irresistible Revolution. One of the over arching principles of the book is that there are a lot of believers who are not active and a lot of activists who do not believe. What we need are more believing activists. This morning I read in 1Peter 1:13, "Therefore, prepare your minds for action." I read this short sentence and felt the arms of my self-imposed strait jacket tighten their grip. Where within me are the Houdini measures that I need to take to find release from this confinement and bring freedom from the insanity of band aid solutions?

First, I need to listen intently and search with the greatest care the wisdom from our great Sage, God Almighty. Taking time to consume the Word and allowing the Spirit to speak his insights into my heart and mind is not a perdition of time. It is the all important base to any venture worth undertaking.

Second, I need to stop mindless giving. This is hard when there is an immediate and pressing lack brought to your awareness. Do I forfeit all relief efforts or only filter them more frequently?

Third, the investment into sustainable and viable enterprises within the homes must become a priority. Recognizing the need for this, I also know that I am not equipped to take this on by myself. Los Carpenteros, a group of men from the South Western Ontario region, have begun and maintained a movement of micro-credit unions that has met with success in both Honduras and El Salvador. Businesses receive loans which are slowly paid off by the national entrepreneurs. The result is one where both giver and receiver maintain their integrity and sense of ownership. This style of giving must be introduced to the NACER homes. I know it and so do our directors, Miguel and Edly Zuchetti.

Feeling tied up does not extend to the lengths of my tongue. Verbalizing the frustrating reality and penning potential solutions are easy for me. The hard part is creating the catalyst for action. The trick that alludes me is how to rid myself of my abstract restraints and reserve the candy for kids and not cavities.