He Speaks

My world is no longer one colour, one language, and one look. It is multi-hued, multi-tongued, and varied. The nations are at the door of my heart and they are knocking it down.

This past Wednesday, I joined my friends Insaf and Nour for their prayer group. It was not my first time and as usual I tried my awkward best to field the greetings and remember how many kisses are the norm in Iraqi culture. Even though I only understand a few words in Arabic, being there feels right and good. This group knows God and God knows them.

During prayer time, there was a profound sense that God was present, filling the room. One lady prayed for me, in English, she asked the Lord to expand my territory and since I had been responsible with a little, that He would give me more. As a chorus of 'amens' rose around the circle, my flesh balked and said 'no' while my spirit lept and said 'yes'. I have questioned my current role so often and wondered if I really have what it takes to manage people and programs. Although very good things, the added weight of working at Welcome Home plus the upcoming trip to Bolivia have combined to cause some stress. There's a verse in Ecclesiastes 10 that says, "If the ax is dull and its edge unsharpened, more strength is needed but skill will bring success." I feel like that ax; the right tool but slow and dull to do the job. I think I have the skills but not the strength to bring success.

Tonight, I visited a new Spanish church. It was suggested by a friend that I check it out. This friend used to be part of an old order Mennonite congregation. The church I went to was not your horse and buggy style meeting place. It was alive and throbbing with the Holy Spirit's fire. After an energetic time of singing, the worship leader called for a time of prophecy. The first recipient of a word was the new 'muchacha' standing in the middle of the sanctuary. I was like, "Yo?! Me?!" I approached the front and the glowing, young woman told me this in Spanish:

"You have been dry and searching. You have felt alone. You have not been able to sleep at nights. You have no idea but there is a heavy calling around you, a great work that the Lord wants you to do."

This stranger saw straight through me and spoke to my very soul. Never in my life have I had such a struggle sleeping as I have in the last two months. My journal is full of searching questions as I seek to understand what I need to do next and where I need to do it. I am alone. I am single and all I hear is the Lord whispering to me, "Though he linger, wait for him."

That girl didn't speak to me, God spoke to me. He speaks and I better sharpen my listening skills and polish up the spirit by which I will hear His voice to do His work with success, skill and by His strength. The nations are knocking and someone needs to open the door.

Looking for a Church

I am weary and wary of church. Having just moved to Kitchener-Waterloo, I am in the market for a new place to meet, gather, and worship on Sundays. To say 'market' isn't a stretch either. Looking on the Internet for a congregation is akin to trying find Mr. Right on eHarmony. Each church is trying to sell herself as the perfect match for my spiritual needs. Some of the newer bodies of believers advertise a fresh, new way to look at spirituality; places where you will find peace and acceptance. One young man through video testimony tells the listener that "church changed his life". Most of these types of churches call themselves 'cool' names like "The Gathering", "The Meeting House", or "The Journey". These titles are not wrong, after all, the early church followed "The Way". I also recognize that the church I most affiliate myself with calls herself "The Pathway". I suppose that these names just seem to be a brand, a brand of church that wants to portray Christianity in an attractive and desirable light, created to satisfy the individual and provide a non-threatening atmosphere for people to encounter God.

To their credit, many of these churches have a strong emphasis on community and of putting faith into action. In this way, they trump the traditional church which for the most part seems content to spout doctrine and denomination over deeds. Both the emerging church and the established church are the bride of Christ and this blog is full of sweeping generalizations of the kind that I mostly dislike, but I'm trying to purge this cynicism that burns within me before it creates unbecoming blisters on my heart. Perhaps I should lay aside the writings of Brother Yun, the pastor called to wake the Western Church from her slumber and self-centeredness so that she can truly lay down her life, take up the cross and recognize that it is not church that changes lives, but Christ. Maybe I'll start my own church brand and call her "The Cost" or "The Sacrifice".

A church should be very careful how it 'markets' herself because quite honestly, it all seems a little cheap and a little too easy to follow Jesus these days.