Bazaar Banking Interaction

Here follows my strange, only-in-North America experience at the bank:

After requesting what I'm sure was my 100th replacement for a lost ATM card, I was directed to Malorie, who kindly guided me through the process of getting a better, smarter VISA card for my buck and business. Little did she know was that my "business" was not your typical run of the mill variety. Here are some bits and pieces of that bazaar banking interaction:

Malorie - "Oh dear, it says here that you're a 'minister of religion', is that true?"
Marcee - "Well, I'm actually a missionary at a girl's home in Bolivia, so I guess that was the closest thing to who I am."
Malorie (slightly thrown off) - "Really? So, I guess you can't, but do you want to be a priest or something?"


Malorie - "Can I ask you a few questions? Good, what are three of your financial goals?
Marcee - "Ahhh, I don't know, maybe get some new clothes every year. Honestly, when I die, I don't plan on having too much stuff. If I have enough for the basic necessities every month and I can provide for the home and ministry, I'll be happy."
Malorie - "Ohhhh,....that's so....spiritual. I mean, I'm just so used to the SW Ontario lifestyle you know...fast paced and modern."

And finally,

Malorie - "Can I talk with you about opening a savings account? You only need to keep $5000 in it in order to make 2.5% interest."
Marcee - "Miss, I would never have that much money just sitting around. It would be given away somehow."
Malorie - "Oh, wierd, I mean, that's so spiritual. You would just give it away to the children?"

This was the gist of the conversation to the best of my ever short memory.